Who I Am: Love Tarot Spread

Reading time: 8 minutes

Welcome to the Tarot Blog Hop

This post is part of the Tarot Blog Hop, in which tarot writers from around the world join together to discuss a particular topic. Our wranglers, Jay Cassels of Sacred Healing and Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti, asked us to share what tarot card represents us. So for Tarot in Love, I developed a tarot spread that I think everyone will enjoy while getting to know themselves better. The Who I Am: Love Tarot Spread lets you explore how you express yourself when you’re On Your Own, when it’s No Strings Attached, and Committed Fully. We each expose a different part of ourselves under different circumstances, so use this spread to get some insight into yourself that will improve your relationships. Includes a downloadable pdf of the spread. Use the links below or at the end of the post to find out what other bloggers have to say on the topic.


Who I Am: Love Tarot Spread and Downloadable PDF

Remember that scene in Runaway Bride when the Julia Roberts character makes a million egg dishes trying to figure out what she likes? She’s always eaten whatever kind of eggs her fiance likes. When she realizes that she doesn’t even know herself well enough to make her own unique breakfast choices, she goes on a quest for self-awareness.

It’s true, and natural enough, that being in a relationship changes us. In fact, that desire for exploration and understanding is one part of why we seek out companionship. When we learn about someone else, we recognize what about us is individual and what is universal. This can apply to friends, family, colleagues, and anyone we meet, not solely our romantic relationship! But the more we get to know someone, the more we know ourselves. As a result, our closest connections allow us to understand ourselves the best.

But sometimes, like the Runaway Bride, we lose ourselves in the other person to the extent that our own personality, dreams, desires, wants, and even needs are suppressed. Under those circumstances it is helpful to reflect on how we change when we are partnered and remember what we are like when we’re on our own. Do you miss you? Use this spread to understand better who you are when you’re on your own, in a casual, no-strings-attached affair, or engaged in a fully committed relationship.

Laying Out the Who I Am: Love Tarot Spread

Like all spreads, if you want to shuffle up and pull one card for each position, that is a great way to go! But if you’d like to spend more time exploring the different aspects of yourself, try something different. As your first step, look through your deck examining the images of each card. Based on the characters, actions, environment, and other symbols in the illustration, choose a card for each position — On Your Own, No Strings Attached, and Committed Fully — that most reminds you of how you are under each of those circumstances. Choosing cards this way is usually called an analytical or intentional draw. Write in your journal why you chose those cards.

Then, once you’re picked the cards that you think represent you, shuffle up the deck. Concentrating on the three positions, draw one card for each. You can do this however you usually like to draw cards: cut the deck then take the top three cards, or fan the deck out and pick the cards one by one, or shuffle and pull the top card for position 1, then shuffle and pull for position 2, etc. Tarot readers often refer to this type of card selection as a random or intuitive draw. Examine the cards that came up and journal your thoughts and impressions.

Interpreting the Who I Am: Love Tarot Spread

Whenever you lay out your own tarot spread, it is helpful, before you dig into each card, to look at the overall layout and make a general assessment. Do you have any Major Arcana cards (see this post for a definition of Major and Minor Arcana)? Or are they all Minor Arcana (the suit cards, including the court cards and cards numbered Ace through 10). Any Court Cards? Numbered cards? Majors represent forces beyond our control, important or significant experiences, or deep wisdom and guidance. Court cards represent ourselves and other people — if you pull a court card, determine if this is you or someone else. Court cards can also reflect how we act within the given situation. The numbered suit cards represent everyday events and situations.

Even if they’re all Minors, with only three cards, you won’t have every suit represented. So the suits that come up will highlight specific attributes. In this spread, we’re asking to understand ourselves, so personal qualities will be indicated. As a general rule, a Suit of Wands card will express that the given situation (position of the spread) brings out your energy, excitement, passion, and independence. Cups cards show you as loving, nurturing, emotional, and imaginative. Swords suggest that you are philosophical, communicative, in your head, or hurting in this area. The Suit of Pentacles characterizes you as committed, secure, stable, and practical. Consult my Tarot Cards Love Meanings posts for basic interpretations of the cards.

Position 1: Who I Am When I’m On My Own

This spread opens with examining who you are when you’re on your own. When you look at the card you pulled for this position, what do you see? Do you like it? Does the character, environment, or any of the props or symbols in the card remind you of you? What is the character doing? Does that remind you of how you are when you’re not in a relationship?

If you selected a card intentionally and also pulled a random card, how do the two of them relate? In what ways are they similar? What about them is different? What does the tarot suggest (the random draw) that you hadn’t seen yourself (the intentional draw)?

Position 2: Who I Am When It’s No Strings Attached

Frequently we feel free to be ourselves in a no-strings-attached relationship. On the other hand, casual connections can devolve into being at the beck and call of someone else. Exploring the card in this position, look for clues in the character, symbols, colors, and environment of the card. Does it make you feel spontaneous? Confident? Fun? Routine? Bored? Tired? Is there one character or two? What are they doing? Does it feel equal and balanced? How does this card compare to the card(s) you selected for positions 1 and 3?

If you drew both an intentional and random card here, how does the random draw support, contradict, or expand upon the intentional draw for this position?

Schedule an appointment with Joy Vernon Astrology * Tarot * Reiki and find out is love in the cards — or the stars! — for you!

Position 3: Who I Am When I’m Committed Fully

Our most serious relationships will change us the most, but can also heal us like nothing else. If being in a relationship inspires you (without shaming you) to be a better person, chances are you’ve found a healthy and equitable partnership. To understand who you are in a committed relationship, look over the image of the card in this position. Does it feel empowering? Safe? Stable? Mutually supportive? Fair and balanced?

How does the card you drew here compare to the card you selected intentionally? How does it compare to the other cards in the spread?

As you look over all the cards in the spread, which one card, or combination of intentional plus random card, feels the most true to you? Does this match your current relationship status? If not, what can you do to add more of these qualities to your life?

Downloadable PDF

You can open up a pdf by clicking on the image below. Print it out, pull some cards, journal your thoughts, and get to know yourself!

Who I Am: Love Tarot Spread three-card spread
Click the image to open a pdf you can download! Who I Am: Love Tarot Spread


By the way, my favorite way to prepare eggs is how my mom made them for my sister and me when we were kids. I remember trying to explain it to a friend of the family once. “What kind of eggs do you like?” “Fried, but the yolks are mixed in.” “You mean scrambled.” “No, they’re flat like fried eggs.” “If you mix in the yolks, they’re scrambled.” I was at an impasse. Later I explained it to my mom and she said she “breaks the yolks.”

Now I make my mom’s eggs for my boyfriend. He calls them “wrecked eggs” and that’s our thing. Heat butter in small frying pan, crack egg(s), let the bottom set a bit, then break the yolk over top of the set whites and mix it up a bit, but not completely, so there’s none of that gross runny yellow stuff, but they’re not a uniform color either. A dash of salt, lots of fresh cracked pepper, let set completely then flip and cook till browned. Serve on a slice of toast. Yum!

Oh, and speaking of eggs, I also LOVE Yorkshire pudding, which I cook without meat or drippings and serve topped with sugar. A very infrequent treat. But SO GOOD! A friend had a cookbook once that called them “flying saucer pancakes.”

What is YOUR favorite way to cook eggs? Let me know in the comments!


Author: Joy Vernon

Joy Vernon is an astrologer and tarot reader in Burien, Washington. Formerly, she served as the Organizer of the Denver Tarot Meetup and Denver Tarot Geeks, and now runs the Greater Seattle Tarot Meetup. She is passionate about teaching others to read tarot for themselves to bring clarity and guidance to their lives. Joy started Tarot in Love to share everything she's learned about love in the cards from her decades of work as a professional reader. Over the past ten years, Joy has published more than 250 free articles on tarot, astrology, qabalah, Reiki, and meditation on her other blog Completely JoyousSchedule a reading to see her philosophies in action.

17 thoughts on “Who I Am: Love Tarot Spread

  1. Wow. I tried this, and my draws are so very Scorpio, and also seem to indicate I’m at my emotional healthiest on my own! So: on my own, I’m the Fool. When there are no strings attached, I’m the Ten of Swords. (Give me a relationship with no strings and I will apparently become a massive drama queen! “Fine! Cut the strings! I’ll give you a sword for each string you want to cut!”) When committed fully, I’m the Emperor, which is also my birth card. So, yeah… 🙂

    1. Awesome! I have to admit my boyfriend came up with the spread positions, but I was immediately taken with it and thought it would be very useful. Thanks for test driving it! I love that it worked spot-on for you! (Hahaha about cutting the strings!)

  2. OMG, I am definitely going to be using this spread. It is so brilliant… because the lovelorn and love questions are not limited to “will he/she come back”, but love questions are applicable to everyone whether they are single, in a committed relationship, or not.

    1. Yes! One of the most influential experiences I had was when I was young, maybe about 30, reading at a psychic fair, and a woman asked me about her 90-year-old mother who had suddenly had an unusual and unexpected health problem. I drew the Lovers card in the spread, and went with a more spiritual interpretation due to the mother being so old. I hemmed and hawed a bit as I was confused by the card. As the woman was leaving, she said, “Do you suppose the reason behind this problem could be that my mother’s boyfriend just died?” Well, that would be a yes! I learned a valuable lesson that love, all forms, even erotic love, affects every single person. Period.

  3. Joy in name and bringing Joy by nature, this is a beautiful post and layout. Thank you so much for being apart of this tarot blog hop; greatly appreciate your flare and talent for writing.

  4. 🙂 Thank you for this one, too, Joy! I will definitely do this spread for myself under the full moon – curious about what Tarot will tell me, I have never done such a spread so far. Happy Ostara to you! <3

  5. Ooh, I’m going to try this out, although I tend to prefer to leave “who I am” as open and flexible. I find it easier to identify “Who I am not”. I’ve never really understood the need to label and pigeon-hole oneself. I’m not x or y or z, I’m the unique mix that is me and that’s a pretty complex equation 🙂
    Btw, we call those splatted eggs. I don’t have a favourite – I love eggs every way, except if the whites aren’t properly cooked,

    1. Let me know how the spread goes! At least this spread gives you three cards (or six if you add in the intentional pulls) to explore different axes of yourself.

  6. We call those “splatted eggs”.
    I like my eggs every way except with the whites undercooked. I like them boiled (hard or soft), fried (well done or runny, splatted or not), poached, scrambled, Viennese style, omeletted, souffled, meringued, kogel mogel, in cake and made of (good quality) chocolate. Love ’em all. I probably missed a few too 😀

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